Two guys are hitting the links at their local golf and country club. Luckily, it's a beautiful day, and there's hardly anyone on the course, so they've been breezing through the holes. Up around the seventh tee, they spot the first people on the course other than themselves, two ladies who, from the guys' perspective, are having trouble on the green. In fact, they've each five-putted it!
The first guy says ''Christ. I hope they just had a bad hole, I don't want to follow these broads for the next eleven holes!'' The second one goes, ''Well, maybe I'll go talk to them, and maybe they can let us pass them. I'll be back in a sec.''
So he trots off, about to go and ask to let them pass. Suddenly, about a hundred feet away from the women, he stops, turns and runs away from them as fast as he can. When he comes back, he exclaims, ''Jesus! That's my wife and my girlfriend! They're both here! Golfing together! I'm sorry, man, but I can't say anything to them. I'm liable to be killed if they saw me. How about you go ask them?''
So the other guy concurs, and trots off to ask the women if they can pass and get on with their game. Then he stops suddenly, spins around and runs back to his buddy in the same manner.
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The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late.
On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round. Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golfs left handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with Geoge always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed.
The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was. They said, ''George, every Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?''
George replies, ''Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.''
''Well,'' one of the employees questioned, ''What happens if she is laying on her back?'' George replies, ''Then I am 10 minutes late.''
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Tiger's Descended Testi****
Tiger was traveling through rural Kentucky in his new Mercedes. He stopped at a small gas station and asked the mechanic if he could get his oil changed.
"Why sure," the mechanic said, not seeming to recognize the golf star.
About thirty minutes later the oil change is complete. As Tiger started to back the car out, the mechanic noticed some buttons on the dashboard and asked Tiger what they were for.
Tiger looked down at the tees on his dash and says, "Those are what I set my balls on."
The old man replied, "Boy oh Boy, those Germans think of everything, don't they!"
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Top Ten Caddy Comments
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."
Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."
Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
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Uncle Ted's Special Skill
Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted.
Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!"
His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible."
Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly. He asked Ted, "Do you see it?"
Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!"
Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!"
Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."
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Rules of Golf (pun intended)
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.
2. Play must be permitted by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well-formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Angry course owners have been known to damage to players' equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.
10. Players should ensure that the match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.
12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of alignment with, and approach to the hole.
13. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.
14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request.
15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
This is senior golf logic! :-)
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Have a nice day!!!
I went on my first date with my husband on August 11th, 1977 - more than 32 years ago. It was a wet Friday evening and I prayed that the rain would stop while waiting for him to pick me up with his Yamaha iron horse. I still remember what I wore that evening - a long sleeved blouse, dark blue denim skirt, a pair of white wedged-heels with a matching denim sling bag. Yup, from then till now some things never change - my love for my spouse and for denim too!
True enough, the rain stopped and we zoomed off to New Lane for dinner and thereafter to Capitol to watch "My Sweet Lady", a tear jerker with soundtrack by John Denver. That day marked an emotionally exciting time, probably one of the most wonderful times in my life when I eventually fell in love with the person with whom I decided to spend the rest of my life. I finally met my match, as the saying goes. Something clicked. Yup - it had to be him.
Cick HERE to enjoy Harry Connick jr.'s IT HAD TO BE YOU.
But it was not an easy journey. Moving to the dance of romance in those days was nothing like what we have today, what with smses, skype, emails and so on. To get to know each other, we had to go through the process of asking our parents for permission to go on a date, observe curfew hours and so on - the whole rigmarole of the early days of the relationship. After all, at that time we were two complete individuals with completely different backgrounds, different lives coming together because of some unknown magnetism.
Before we actually knew how the other felt, I remember asking my friends whether he liked me and explained what he did or said or didn't do or say! When my former students ask me the same thing these days, I smile to myself knowingly having gone through such motions, even to the extent of replaying the whole date in my mind and analyzing each nanosecond to assess his feelings for me. The suspense of not knowing how the other feels seems to fuel romantic feelings!
I guess when one falls in love and begins the dance of romance, we actually make a mental conscious decision to just begin to open up our lives to the person of our choice.
Picture this.
A balancing act takes place. Two individuals at the opposite end of the fulcrum of love are trying to decide the steps that need to take place so that both can walk the fulcrum without losing balance.
As time goes by, one may move on in the dance and then decide to change the rhythm of motion. For instance, one might decide to kiss, make out, etc. etc. etc. And when doing so, one must walk tenderly lest one loses balance. Soon, the soul really begins to open up and the emotional bond of love really takes on a new meaning.
The goal is to meet in the middle, to come together, to fall in love.
The dance of romance is a most wonderful movement, one that is pleasurable. Even the birds sing it every day and we can detect it in the smell of the flowers and see it in the sunset. All things are wonderful. Looking back, it seemed like we were two kids back in the playpen of love, only now we are ageing adults. The dance of romance is happiness personified, when it works. I know. I am a hopeless sentimental romantic. :-)
Our psyches experience thoughts and feelings and when we start spending time with this new love, we start combining our thoughts and feelings with that of our partners. We laugh at the good times together and share our thoughts and feelings. In short, the circles come together.
I believe that when a man feels for a woman, it is only natural that he shows these feelings. He buys flowers, compliments her on her looks, and develops an emotional bond for her that is called the feeling of love. But sometimes, it could be a forbidden love due to various factors and it would be totally painful and torturous to feel this way and not be able to express one's love.
Under such circumstances, some simply suppress the feeling of love, put it back upstairs in the attic of the unconscious, hoping that it may come back out someday and play again. And sometimes they do, perhaps years or even decades later.
Other may be luckier to be able to pursue the one they love. Going through the motion of the dance of romance makes our footsteps lighter and our faces brighter. The suspense of waiting if he would call or visit or what would be the next step of action he would take and the interpretation of that move - all acts to bring the passion of the moment to a crescendo.
Eventually, we get to the point in the relationship where we have overcome the obstacle of vulnerability or fear of being hurt and realize that he or she is it. Finally, we are brave enough to admit that we are in love and want to spend the rest of our lives with this one person. By then, we have that extra bounce in our walk. What a joyful and most fulfilling time!
Then the man will ask the love of his life to marry him. In true blue fairy tale tradition, she cries and says 'Yes'. Tears follow and this is romantic love at its finest. A humorous question is then asked by everyone else who both people know when they say “do you really only want to sleep with this one person for the rest of your life”?
The answer should be yes.
Have a lovely day, dear reader, reminiscing about the romantic moments in your life, remembering the dance of romance and revisiting the spark of love again....May you have a very romantic weekend with your loved one remembering the most unforgettable moments in your life.
Please Click THIS LINK to enjoy Natalie Cole and Nat King Cole's UNFORGETTABLE.
This post is dedicated to my husband and dearest friend, Angela. The title was birthed in an afternoon teleconversation when we were reminscing about this crazy thing called love and yes, I am mad enough to have finished writing this post at 4.50a.m.!
